The decision to close my channel did not come fast or easy, in fact, I agonized over it for the last two years,  on and off .    It came about with heavy heart and conflicted feelings. 

Much like a true relationship, it has run it’s course and it’s time to move on to something, anything better.   The joy I once felt has been fizzeling out for awhile but, you know how it is with a long term relationship, sometimes we prefer to not look too closely at the signs of impending doom. We tell ourselves excuses that justify staying in a relationship that has lost it’s glow. Hell!  I shutter to think how many times I’ve done this with humans, and yet I’ve realized I was doing it with youtube.

  •   Way back in the early days of beauty videos there were basically two kinds of video creators, young. hip, gorgeous nubile cuties that reviewed and demonstrated literally ever product to hit the market. They applied makeup like the pros and looked amazing in everything.  The massive collections were sometime purchased by them and often supplied by the companies.  It was the early days of affiliate links and free product provided for review.  The Michelle Phans of the genre were just starting to emerge.  Marlena of Make up Geek had not yet thought of starting her own brand. Wayne Goss and the PixxiWoo sisters were still doing “looks and 5 minute reviews.
  • Then there were you tubers like me, housewives, corporate execs, hobbyists, newbie makeup artists and wanna be’s .   We did it for the joy and community of sharing our interests with like minded others.  It was welcoming, non-competitive and YouTube barely paid attention.  The measure of success was the number of subscribers.  There were rules about curse words and you did not use copywriten  music or content.   We talked, shared and learned from each other in our small amateur community.
  • Then things began to shift. Brands started to realize that popular YouTubers were  an untapped marketing goldmine.  For the minuscule cost of a few cosmetics provided to said person, they could sell large volumes of product with no advertising payment, at all.  Believe me when I say the $50.00 blush you ran to the shop to purchase cost apx. $5.00 for the brand to send to youtuber Jane Doe.
  •  And so it began, the explosion of sales based upon the simple mention or demo of products by a familiar face in the comfort of our homes.  We  watched each other with pen and paper at hand diligently creating our next Haul list. We did Tag videos in order to learn about each other or challenge ourselves to create the same look or build a complete makeup bag for $20 and under.  It was fun. It was an easy no pressure zone for grown ups to play with our bits and pieces of lovely things.
  • You Tube corporate keeps changing the playing field as to what is considered success. Subscription number, Likes, Views, and lately Retention time.                         There are classes and professional Yt studios to hone your skills. There is a lot of money made from youtube directly, or through links, or brand endorsement deals. How many individuals now have their own brands or have become corporate spokespersons? I cant’t keep track.

With the opportunity of fame and fortune comes a compromise of integrity much of the time.  The trust we placed in each other’s recommendations can no longer be taken on faith.  When I hear a YouTuber rave and gush about almost every product they review, I seriously question their truthfulness. Not every moisturiser is HOLY GRAIL,  TO DIE FOR, A MUST HAVE, LIFE CHANGING  You see where I’m going here?   Hyperbole is the order of the day in  todays YT videos.   However , there are ways to maintain appearances.  Mention one or two products that don’t live up to the hype every now and then in order to offset the multitude that, you promise, do!    Don’t get your daggers out to slit my throat for spreading horrible untruths cuz, sorry but, it happens. every damn day.

But there are also those individuals that speak the truth no matter what.  They clearly explain affiliate links and which products are comped and which were paid for with their own cash.  Many are not compensated at all and often in great debt in order to create content about the latest trend or product to hit the market. Often creating a stressful reality of credit card debt and a rush to get the product reviewed and uploaded in a timely fashion.  When you upload a video that has already been done by multiple creators, the desire of your subscribers to watch is diminished and your statistics will fall.    Hence, you’re a failure, according to the YouTube algorithm that determines success or failure

Basically, I’m saying that it’s not the joy it used to be, for me, that is.  My goal never was grandiose or calculated. I simply enjoyed sharing tips and opinions about beauty. I could have easily continued as usual because when a channel is as small and obscure as mine was, I had no pressure to please any master but myself. However, I found myself buying far more than I need, as well as more than I could afford. You see, I am one of those aforementiond persons with credit card debt due to my inability to discipline myself.  I tried to watch but not desire, I’ve attempted ‘No Buys and Low buys”,  shop my stash, etc. At the end of the day, I’m in possession of too much stuff.  My minimalist heart is not as powerful as my desire to consume.  And so, this is the path I need to take in order to set my priorities straight. A “reboot ” if you will.   Until I discovered the world of beauty through YouTube 5 years ago, my makeup collection in it’s entirety fit into a small Clinique GWP bag.  ALL OF IT !!!!!  One blush, lipgloss, eye liner pencil, mascara and lash curler. That’s it!  Now, I have an Alex 5 drawer cabinet from Ikea. Which is quite possibly the most popular storage unit for makeup across the Yt community.  Should have bought stock in IKEA  LOL !

There you have the how’s and the why’s of my break up.   I believe that we as a nation are consuming far too much stuff, creating too much waste and sadly, are losing the concept of ” value”.  Our priorities are out of wack with the laws of nature. Our lifestyles have become fast, disposable and self centered.  I’m guilty and I’m troubled by it. So, changes had to be made and they had to be drastic.  As a woman of 61 I’m old enough to know that anything can change at any time. Including my choices. LOL  Never say never! Someday I may start another channel or maybe not. I might miss some aspects of You Tube or I might not.  There are still many channels that I’m subscribed to, like BBC, The Guardian, Ted Talks, yoga, meditation, french language tutorials, and some beauty, lifestyle and  cooking channels.  There are some people I’ll miss and some,   not so much.

Relationships come and go, as do the tides and phases of the moon.  It’s been fun, informative, stressful, time consuming, educational, and disillusioning  but,  I wouldn’t change a thing.  The few real relationships that Yt has given me are important and will not be neglected or forgotten.  Thank for the memories  See you on the other side.






ROAD TRIP to Portland, ME Shopping Bags haul on youtube 3/17

Welcome back to the Living Out Loud blog

Youtube video will be live on Friday the 17th of March at Lindalu19

Today I’d like to share my finds while browsing Portland,ME.a few weeks ago. Hubby is a craft beer brew aficionado and there are many breweries on his ” too sample” list. So, road trip it was, me as the tag a long. The ride I say, but not the beer. That was all about the ‘Brew Brothers’.The name he gave the group of like minded men who hunt for the best of the best. BTW, he named his car GUS! As in GUS GUS THE BEER BREW BUS Yikes! Hard core hysterical But, this is not about his haul, it’s about mine. So, let’s go already! Day1 Alone in Portland for the first time, my thoughts began with COFFEE Starbucks, sil vous plait Grande Soy Latte avec 2 sucre. Merci!!!!! OK Now I could focus. GPS me to a Local Ulta, Target. Target first! I alway pick up a carriage even if i’m going in for a sponges cuz, come on! it’s Tar-Jay for Christ sake. We all know how this goes. I’m only picking up one thing, sponges, but somehow I find myself in Beauty, Home and Grocery. As you do, of course. So, I’m cruising along the store perimeter repeating my Sponge Mantra when I see W3LL PEOPLE on display. A pittifully small display but, hey it’s something Right? I had been searching since I first heard the news of WELL PEOPLE moving into a big retail space so, I was jacked up!!!!! Could have something to do with aforementioned latte but, I was Jacked ! My nimble greedy fingers grabbed the Bio Tint Moisturizer SPF 30 in #2 and the Expressionist Liquid liner in black. Mind you, I fail miserably at applying liquid liner but, I’m a sucker for ” try try try again” ARGH But I bought it anyway in a moment of inspiration or blind optimism ! After tossing them in my cart I bolted for the check out, must resist further temptation. Paid, bagged and back in the car Success was mine ! GPS take me to an ULTA and do it now! ( I’m very demanding ) HEE HEE Low and behold there was one not to far away and I was off to “kill time”Very dangerous way to shop, I might add. We all know this, right? Somehow I found the calm serenity to stroll around slowly and without that feeling of urgency that accompanied me in Target. Whew! Relaxed Of course I began on the right hand side of the store aka. Hi-end ! I always have a strategy, for everything BTW ! While operating in a sense of calm I was able to walk to the Lo-end side of the store without a single item in my possession. Score 1 for logic. Logically speaking, I need absolutely nothing from UlTA or Target for that matter. You should see my IKEA Alex 5 drawer !!! just Sayin’ With that being said, I did NEED brow product as I had forgotten to pack some. If you know the brow dilemma that I live with, you understand the need !!! Triple exclamation points. So, the NYX Brow Pomade EXPRESSO To be ripped into and applied in car. asap.! The cream Blush in Red! Not needed but discounted by 75% And it’s RED so, no brainer for this brunette with a penchant for ruddy cheeks & crimson lips. The blush stick from Wet n’ Wild was a mistake. Shade is toooooo warm and it smells weird. I like weird in my people but not in my makeup So, it’s out! All in all it was a productive little haul. Didn’t break the budget and bought products that bring my Joy ! A La marie Kondo However, I didn’t buy a sponge !!! Typical LOL


La haul

Earthwise Beauty Pacific Northwest Body oil

  • img_8964Stop all the clocks
  • put away the sidewalks
  • take a hot minute to read this news
  • Earthwise Beauty had given birth to a new product yet again. This time it’s all about your beautiful body !
  • Yesterday I received a box with the  new Pacific Northwest Body oil along with a bag of goldenlrod tea gathered from the meadows of AvaLand, Wa.

This is the long awaited release from the mind of alchemist Ava Zhan.   This is the first Earthwise product for the body. So far!    Hint Hint!!!

So far I’ve opened the metal screwtop cap from the 4.25oz glass bottle and plunged my olfactory glands deep into the forest of Washington state    In my mind I imagined a pine balsam lumberjack scent but, this is not so ” in your face camping among the the pines ” If fact it’s a more complex, light but green concoction of essential oils. It’s more wearable and enveloping than I expected.   It’s absolutely lovely! It’s green & clean & unisex in the best sense of the word.

As for color and texture:    It’s a most gorgeous golden shade on the skin but, darker more Seabuckthorne-ish in the bottle.

The texture is liquid and non-greasy It sinks in almost immediately So, no slip n’ slide bathroom floor action!  Thank you!!

I have a guessing game I play in my head where I try to figure out all the scent elements before reading the label!   So, I’m still working that. Lol. But you can go to the website and learn them now. Let me entertain myself for a while longer !!!

Tonight I’ll submerge my body in a deep hot tubby with a steaming cuppa tea. Follow up with a slathering of Pacific Northwest Body oil from neck to toes!         I’ll report back in about one week with my thoughts

In the meantime , carry on my wisdom warriors!  Be brave Be you



  1. For K. Xoxo.

    If you’re not the type to keep a Gratitude journal, consider this. A Swear journal! A place to unload all the crap from your day. A filthy little brain dumping station if you will. Not everyone enjoys chronicling life’s Splendor-ific moments Some stressed out souls need to let it go with one or fifty-seven F-bombs per day. No judgment zone aka Swear Journal to the rescue! Think about the exquisite plmeasure of F-ing this or S O B-itching her or Kiss my a** him Ahhh. The release !!! After a long ass day of being polite, potitically correct or just plain ole ” nice” It would be so awesome to pull out your own private log of the filthies, most inappropriate or wince inducing slurs imaginable. Now, doesn’t that sound super Fu** ing great 👍🏼. Yep! Go now. Get thee a fresh new notebook and a kick ass pen and get busy Have a great Fuc****g Day


VertMont Perfumery. Waitsfield Farmers market. 

On a recent trip to the cabin in the North East Kingdom aka Vermont. aka Heaven. I visited the mother -daughter duo behind VERTMONT PERFUMERY at the Waitsfield farmers market.  I was on a mission to investigate all that I could in person.  I discovered this brand through a fellow you tuber Mercedes many months ago.  I explored their Etsy shop like a bloodhound on a search and rescue mission!  Yes, I’m that obsessed with scent!   However, since switching  to a ” Green & Cruelty Free” lifestyle, scent has been a difficult category.

Enter VertMont Perfumery!!!!   Bingo!  Jackpot! Eureka!   You get the picture. This stuff is everything I’d been looking for. It’s a small business run by women, made in America, cruelty free, organic ingredients and most of all, takes me to my HAPPY PLACE  😍😍

My first purchase through Etsy was the scent EROS in the roller ball bottle. It’s a sexy warm kind of ” mmmmm let me get a bit closer” sort of magic!   It’s so popular that it was given as a favor to wedding guests recently. That speaks volumes about this particular product. I think it’s the kind of scent that most people with a working nose would enjoy! 

So, back to my visit. I contacted the team weeks in advance through Instagram. Yes they will communicate with you directly on IG as well as email. Personally, I like when a real person is within reach.  On a stunning autumn morning I went to the booth to meet the duo and stick my nose into EVERYTHING!   There were several customers already there and Donna ( Mom, Boss, Creator) was fully engaged in with them. She interacts with people one on one to help determine which scent might be a good fit.  This passion is what makes the brand as good as it is.  To my surprise Donna looked up at me and said “Hi you must be Linda, So nice to finally meet you”!  It took me by surprise that she recognized me and said so. They both said in unison ” of course we do, we follow you”.   It’s the weird reality that others connect with you just as you feel the connection with  them.  

Me, Donna and daughter Tess. 

While momma was doing her thing I talked with Tess. She is a twenty something with a beautiful energy that was apparent from the first gorgeous smile!  We talked a bit about the products and I learned that there was more than just perfume to this brand.  They have created skincare, lip balm, deodorant and a green scent spritz for our pets.   Well! I knew then I’d be spending more than I anticipated. Gladly I may add because VertMont does what they do right!  

The other customers made their purchases and it was time to meet Donna.  I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed.   If you know me at all, it’s what is do!  She asked me what I was attracted to on her display and we talked about the kind of scents I like and don’t like. This info is her base knowledge used to suggest which product to sample. She applied each one to a different spot and gave me time to decide if it was a joyful experience or not.  Her suggestions based on our conversation were spot on!  Every time   This is what VertMont is all about, connection the customer.  Donna explains that without the human, face to face interactions she could not serve her customers properly. That level of personal service is lost if she and Tess are not physically present to talk to each and every person that comes to their booth.  This is about the time my appreciation for  VertMont went straight through the roof!   Current status?   Customer, admirer, fan for life!   No brainer Right?  

So,let’s get to  the nitty gritty What did I buy?

My new favorite scent is called CYRENA    Oh be still my heart ❤️.  One of its ingredients is to Tonka bean.  Oh yes!   CYRENA is  a deep sexy siren calling my name daily.  Like the call of the Mermaid which  cannot be resisted! And I don’t want to. I purchased the roll on bottle 10ml.   The deodorant in SOMA,  the facial care trio which includes a Serenity scrub, facial mist, and Neroli Nectar moisture oil.   This is seriously a ritual that take me to a truly serene head space!   And the scent is divine as well as my skin.  Let me not forget Mr. Murphy cuz he is after all the king in my house!  I purchased the Top Dog Fur Freshner.   Our pets deserve to breathe non toxic scent too. This is a fur spritz that contains only clean essential oils, water and alcohol free witch hazel. It’s Murphy approved!  

Now for the samples &  perks!   They included a lip balm and a moisture balm ( and its pink)   Also a necklace aroma diffuser made of clay in disc form with the logo MP recessed into it. I add a bit of fragrance oil and wear it short around my neck. I’m inhaling the scent throughout  the day.    Ah!  Nice idea VertMont 

I requested a sample of the CYRENA fragrance oil to offer as a give away.  I want to share this brand with all of you but, alas only one can receive this gift. 

 What are the rules? 

Subscribe to my blog, follow my Instagram account Lindalu1919, and subscribe to my you tube channel Lindalu19.  Go to VertMont Perfumery and sing up for the newsletter and follow them on Instagram at VertMont Perfumery  Leave a comment telling me why you want to try this product and I’ll choose a winner on the 31st, Halloween 

That’s it. That’s all.   I will check all accounts to see your comments and notify you on the 1st of November.  This is only open to the US and you must follow and comment on all accounts listed above.   

Thank you to Donna & Tess for your time, passion, products and generosity.                                 Go to their site and read the story of VertMont Perfumery    

One more pic just cuz!    The moisturizer balm in its pretty pink glory!    Sweetness

If you are obsessed with perfume but have quit the conventional brands filled with toxic ingredients, try this brand.  I love to spend my money in support of small brands that provide high quality products made clean ingredients.

Thank you for reading !   Please subscribe and leave a comment. Share with me your discoveries. 

In love & light, LINDA.    

Gressa lippie in Radient

Be still my heart!  This lil pot of lovely is rocking my world.  Just sayin!   It’s completely green and cruelty free.  this bright magenta shade is perfect for all of us brunettes  Aww who am I kidding?  Its a gorgeous shade for anyone. It’s a cool toned gem housed in a plastic pot that you can apply with fingers or brush.  Not a fan of the “double dip the finger in the pot” kind of woman so, its a brush for me!  Oh Hell, it’s a brush with greatness. that’s what it is.

Purchase online from  Gressa or from any of your favorite Green beauty retailer/e-tailers


the launch of a new website that you will want to follow is here!!!!

Our ambassador of GREEN IS THE NEW GORGEOUS is revamping the site and inviting a host of writers, bloggers and guest contributors. One of which is yours truly

Please sign up and follow Teri & crew as we share, inform and hang out together.

More details to follow.  Hang tight

Since I’ve  been ask to contribute to the website, I thought it would be a good time to resurrect my blog. Poor baby has been neglected for years.    Shameful Eh?


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